“las vegas plastic surgeon”
“Black nose job”
“Nose job cost”
“How old do you have to be to get a nose job”
“African American nose job”
With tears streaming down my face, I hastily typed those phrases into Google. It was a couple of days before my 17th birthday, and I couldn’t fathom looking as I do for another solitary second. Too black.
My mind is colonized. I will be the first to admit that. Any distaste I have for my personal features comes from the brainwashing millions of black Americans face their entire lives: black is ugly, white is not.
Ever since I was a little kid, I equated beauty with whiteness and lighter skin. Being bombarded with a sea of white actresses in nearly every show and movie and all the heartthrobs being solely white men will do that.
Google images seem to agree with me. You don’t get black people included in the initial searchings for “beautiful ___” until you add ‘black’ to the search engine.